He revealed that the aunt had left a will stating that her not inconsiderable estate should be divided up among all her "surviving known relatives". It seemed the solicitors, appointed by her as executors of her estate, had been travelling the world – first-class, of course – burning their way through her fortune, trying to track down her family. Expensive hotels – with room service, of course – air tickets, luxury hire cars: all, they argued, necessary to enable them to carry out their appointed task, were duly charged to the ever shrinking estate.

So it was that the unexpected caller was doorstepping, not to bring the news of good fortune but to blithely announce that he was looking for a contribution from our friend, and all the other traced members of the far-flung family, many of whom had never ever known the old girl, to cover the balance of what had turned in just a few short months from a small fortune into a short-fall of funds, and could he have the money now please?

Truth is, lawyers are there to make money for lawyers. Get them involved in a dispute which could be settled by just sitting down with the other side and talking about it and the whole things rapidly turns into a near war which costs both sides a fortune. Boy how they love helping divorces to turn messy.

But this doesn’t mean that you should ignore the importance of the law as a potent weapon in your battles against the system. As you’ll soon learn, I’m a dab hand when it comes to issuing a writ – but the secret is to become a bit of a barrack-room lawyer, do plenty of homework so you know exactly where you stand and carry out as much of the legal process for yourself as you can before wheeling out some expensive brief to put the well-polished boot in and finish the job.

Most times in this world you are on your Jack Jones. You must fight your own battles. You have to learn on your feet, recognising the scams that can work in your favour and the ones which will be used against you. I’m sure that somewhere in these pages there will be a situation that you can relate to. It might help you to know how I dealt with the problem – or, at least, tried to deal with it – and, at worst, you can have a few laughs at my expense.